Yesterday I had a conversation with a young woman who has relocated to Arizona and is hoping to start up a similar role as I had in GRSD and now, Stellafly. She asked me if I had any words of wisdom going into it. It took me about 1/2 second to respond.

No partners.

I received my invoice from my attorney at Varnum for the first month of representation. Representation for protecting me from losing control of a business I started. Representation for telling me that I needed to walk away from the business so I could continue working. Representation for dealing with multiple correspondences between myself and the others with demands on me but not fulfilling demands I made on them. Representation to protect me from an attorney that I thought had my best interest in mind.

Nothing like aging quickly. What an eye opener. No partners. Ever. Again.

For the past month I’ve sat silent on ‘how I really feel’ with that glimmer of hope that I could somehow protect the brand and the one amazing creative that decided to walk away from it with me.

You see, I’ve been brought up to believe that what’s ‘right’ always prevails. I truly believed that if I invested money, time and passion it would all work out in the end. Then I was hit with a bill that showed me that it isn’t worth fighting for especially when the others are sitting and waiting for me to come up with a solution.

I don’t believe this to be true anymore.

Today, I’m finding that I can’t shake my anger. I’m not angry at the bill. My lawyer is amazing and deserves every single dollar. He has made my life much better by providing me an avenue to continue to do my work and make money so I am able to fulfill my financial role in our home. I had no income for over a month because of the situation.

I’m mad at my dad for his resolved attitude that I continue to take the high road and not tell people the story when they ask — even though it’s the truth and nothing prevents me from doing so.

He continues to remind me that I was brought up to deal with things with class and integrity. So every time I want to shoot my mouth off, I think of him then I look at my boys. How would dad handle it? How should I handle it? How would I want them to handle it?

Then today I receive this…

“I just read your post on the ending of your relationship with GRSD and your beginning of Stellafly. While I don’t know the timeline for this downward spiral, I’m sure it had to have started (or been happening) when I was working with you when I was still at  ——–. To know that you were dealing with this in your personal and professional life and that you still met with me to tell me about all the wonderful things GRSD could do for ——-  when you weren’t even sure where your future was with them, tells me what a great businesswoman you are. I would have had a hard time keeping my head up and touting all the great things about an organization when I knew on the inside things were so much worse. Hats off to you and your future endeavors with Stellafly. I will be watching your growth and progress and wish you the best of the best of luck.” — client

So here’s to you dad.

Thank you for instilling in me all of the great lessons that you learned while dealing with break-ups and partner disputes while you were an oral surgeon. Thanks for the constant reminder that the saying ‘Like Father, Like Daughter’ is just as relevant, if not more so in this instance, as ‘Like Father, Like Son.’

Thank you for hanging tough with me through the tears and the anger. Thank you for saying that you can’t spend $10,000 to make $5,000. It’s stupid.

Thank you for spreading the word to all of your connected barrister friends and connections through the city who have a much bigger reach than I ever will. Thank you for reassuring me that word of mouth is more valuable than dollars, any day.

Thank you dad, for teaching me how to use the good lessons to excel and helping me understand how the hard ones will only make me better.

Mostly dad, I’m lucky to have you so close to me. Not only as a neighbor but as a friend. You are the man that has taught me ‘no partners.’ The man that keeps me on my toes. The man that I trust more than anyone else on the planet. The one I am proud to say is my dad.

As soon as Labor Day rolls into our world, summer hangs its ‘thanks for a great season!’ sign on the door and it’s back to work. For some people, particularly for those of us that work from home, losing the freedom that summer offers can result in loneliness, seclusion and an overall dour outlook at winter’s approach.

I recently chatted with one of my social media peeps who seemed to be struggling with things. Nothing seems to be going right for him lately. We chatted online and as I read his unfolding story my thoughts were, “I don’t blame him.” Unfortunately the only advice I had to offer him seemed trivial and insincere. I suggested going for a walk around his neighborhood, to soak in the sun and check out people doing what they do on an unusually warm fall day.

It’s no secret that I’ve experienced my own season of change this fall. Certainly, not all of it has been pleasant or easy. What I have found helpful to my disposition has been my focus on things that were important to me to keep me grounded. Like my kids. My new puppy, and running outside so I can eventually run some races.

One step at a time.

The nature of my job in a socially online world allows for a daily opportunity to share all the great information that I learn about things from other people. I realized that by by getting behind, believing in and supporting others efforts significantly helped my personal ‘in transition’ time. In fact, it has been a source of motivation and optimism.

One organization that makes me particularly gitty is the Grand Rapids Community Foundation. Last summer I sat down with Roberta King, Vice President of PR and Marketing, to talk about the things they were working on for 2011-2012.

Roberta explained what community foundations are set up to do. Basically, they are a sustainable aspect of philanthropy. They provide leadership and problem solving in the present while preparing for the future with permanent endowments. These endowments are like savings accounts. People make donations to a particular endowment and then the funds are invested with growth as a goal. From the income from these investments, grants are made and the principle of the gift always remains intact. Check out all the different ways to give: http://www.grfoundation.org/givingnow

Pretty cool, huh?

To make it even better, yesterday on twitter I learned that one of my newest team members, Jamal Fisher, benefited the GRCF.

tweet from jamalfisher:

@stellafly @grcommfound @lauracaprara they paid for my undergraduate education! Forever thankful!

Jamal is currently in his second year at Grand Valley State University working toward his masters in social work. Not to mention, he’s holding down a job at Pine Rest, working with us and maintaining a 4 point GPA.

The next time you feel like nothing is going your way or that there’s not much to get excited about, consider standing behind something that pushes goodness into lives that need it most.

Everywhere you look in Grand Rapids, people are helping each other find their spot of happiness in life. Sometimes you just have to get behind it to see through it.

side note: Grand Rapids Community Foundation is in a Grant Off. If they win, they will be awarded a $1,000 grant from his John Wheeler Donor Advised Fund. More money to help kids in our community! Voting is easy, just sign up by connecting your facebook account. Link: http://www.grfoundation.org/grantoff/1/1

“Part bike race. Part running race. Part amazing race. Part ArtPrize.”

Pure insanity.

I heard a rumor that yesterday’s sporting event was the first of its kind. We all know that Adventure Racing usually includes tons of physical endurance as well as problem-solving skills. So, what made this different?

ArtPrize.

The #GRURBAN and ArtPrize teams collaborated to come up with some impressive challenges that were incorporated into AP artwork and venues with Amazing Race elements like biking, running, and navigating for punch spots that were scattered throughout the race course.

My team member, Grand Rapids Community Foundation‘s, Roberta King, and I really didn’t know what to expect. She’s a long distance runner, me a gym rat. Before the race, each team was handed a map with marked locations and a passport with directions to punch when we arrived at the checkpoints. To make it even more challenging, half of those checkpoints had to be reached on foot while an equal number going in the opposite direction had to be done on bike.

Then there were challenges for extra punches. Such as counting the monkeys hanging on the Blue Bridge.

Us: No problem, there’s 98.

Them: No.

Again.

Us: What? Wrong? but there are 98.

Them: Read the directions.

Us: Oh, I see, you mean count the monkeys ONLY hanging upright. Meh.

Yes that happened … at pretty much every challenge. We’re chalking it up to being rookies.

Those at an advantage had marathon/triathlon experience and at a better advantage were those with experience in Adventure racing. Of course, being in your twenties didn’t hurt either.

Regardless of the level of experience, everyone found their A-game yesterday. It wasn’t all about having every checkpoint punched. It was about acquiring as many punches as possible within the allotted 4 plus hours before your legs fell off and you were hauled away in an ambulance.

In all seriousness, each team had to be quick thinking, strategic and have their bearings on where they were inside the city.  I remain impressed that there were some that managed to complete everything.

Check out the results.

GRUrban Adventure Race delivers what they promise.  An amazing and challenging experience combined with an up close and personal view of different parts of our city. I’m definitely hooked and highly recommend for both serious competitors and ‘just for funners’ alike.

GRUrban‘s third race is already in the works for February 11, 2010 at Cannonsburg Ski Area. You can get more information about how to get involved by visiting the Grand Rapids Urban Adventure #GRURBAN on the web:
http://www.grurbanadventurerace.com/
facebook: https://www.facebook.com/grUrbanAdventureRace

In memory of one of my favorite artists, Mikey Welsh, who passed away suddenly on October 8th.

An amazing father, artist and friend to many.

He finally found peace.

I met Mikey in 2009 when he came to Grand Rapids for an art opening and I’ve been a fan ever since. Mikey played as the bassist in the band Weezer and was a talented artist. The world has lost a good man and an amazing creative with a big, huge warm heart.

This picture was taken of him at his opening with Paul and Jessica Lee at their restaurant, The Winchester. It’s exactly how I remember him. Such a funny and adorable guy.

I feel lucky to have a piece of him in my home.

To follow what we’re doing: https://www.facebook.com/stellaflysocialmedia

“We’re Making Pages Better. We want to make sure the tools you use to manage your page are as effective as possible. Here’s an update that may affect how you connect with your audience: Improvements to Insights: You’ll now see a new public metric called People Talking About This underneath your fan count to show the number of people on Facebook who have engaged with your page in the last 7 days. Learn more in your Page Insights.”

As of 8 am this morning Stellafly looked like this. You guys amaze me. This is your work.

This week has been an active one for Stellafly. We worked on building buzz around the new name. The shooters were insanely busy running around town. They’re definitely hindered by our limited budget which doesn’t yet equip them with cards. They seem to be up for the challenge as none have complained about having to be out on the front line, explaining the new vision, grabbing fresh content donning only the new lanyards. They shot gorgeous Falcon Custom Homes Parade penthouses to ArtPrize announcements and parties capturing images of what our beautiful city did this week. I’ve been securing new business and am most excited about bringing in a new brand management project, Grand Rapids Public Schools, which is certainly entitled to a blog post of its own as there is so much to say. I’ll work on that this weekend.

I’ve been talking with John Helmholdt and Jonathan Jelks for a long time about this project and getting the nod yesterday was the first thing that filled my heart completely with hope, promise and a sense of renewal. I cannot wait to get started. Neither can Team Stellafly.

Chris Koens came to the table with a super fun ‘smart brand’  name for the our magazine which I know you’re going to love, once you get used to it … see it. Heading into the weekend, I want to publicly thank my very good bud, Brandon Gohsman, who’s dedicated work ethic and talent will get the first Stellafly Publication launched next week. That said, I have to take note of the disappointment of finding out a fellow Grand Rapidian thought it might be smart to try capitalize from the idea. The things you discover while domain shopping for all things ‘Stellafly.’

No worries. We didn’t want that one anyway. 

So as we close this work week down, know that I will be working hard all weekend, mapping out strategies on how to keep the Stellafly Facebook Page one that is  ‘talking about’ rather than just a ‘like this’ one.

Have an amazing fall weekend. Make it great. Only you can.

In memory of my hero, Steve Jobs.

1955-2011

You changed the world… especially mine. I will miss you.

To follow what we’re doing: https://www.facebook.com/stellaflysocialmedia

Everything felt exactly the same as it always does, until I was introduced as … this is Laura Caprara, formerly of the Grand Rapids Social Diary.

Formerly … so strange. It reminded me of that awkwardness that came from taking my husband’s name 13 years ago. I remember it taking a long while to grow on me to the point I had a hard time responding to it. Looking back at that feeling now, Laura Caprara is a different person than she was as Laura Ostrander. Stellafly is different than Social Diary.

While I found myself lost in a sea of muted voices, I pictured myself meeting new communities in different cities. Cities with people that have never heard anything about what I have done or currently do… furthermore, not even knowing where Grand Rapids is on the Michigan map. It made me anxious to get to those cities, to learn about their streets, their non-profits, the philanthropic communities.

The event was Pine Rest Foundation’s Annual Dinner. As usual, the JW Marriott put together a gorgeous room. The tables donned Modern Day Floral classic off-white and pale pink bouquets. The dinner was amazing, just far too much to eat.

Kathy Cronkite, daughter of television newscaster Walter Cronkite, served as the keynote speaker. She spoke about her lifelong battle with depression. Her story was sad but brave and I admired her beauty in using something as personal as depression to help other people. I learned that depression isn’t always about being sad. In fact, it manifests itself in many ways, such as being edgy, not wanting to see people, not wanting to shower, not appreciating a warm, sunny ‘indian summer’ fall day — a dull feeling, lacking passion. I’d always perceived depression as being eternally sad.

There is no doubt that everyone at some point suffers from depression. Many of the things she talked about resonated with how I’ve felt the past four weeks dealing with my life transition.

I cannot imagine living with depression for a lifetime.

After she spoke, the event took a clever and creative turn. A news theme was used in honor of the news-connected, Dan Gaydou. Dan is publisher of “The Grand Rapids Press.” Dave and Carol VanAndel took the stage to act as newscasters. John Gonzalez did ‘live’ interviews in the lobby. Val Lego and I giggled when Dave spoke ‘newspeak’ because he really was quite a natural.

There were nearly 600 in attendance and each table was given a ‘clicker.’ When the Van Andel‘s asked a trivia question about Pine Rest as well as the evening’s honorees, Dan and Lou Ann Gaydou, the audience clicked in their answers. It was a unique and fun way to engage the audience in a way that we could learn more while finding out some surprising facts about people and organizations.

I have to admit, I’ve seen dozens of pictures of the Gaydou’s over the past couple of years but have never really known much about what they do in our community, until last night. These people are good people.

Originally from the south, they came to West Michigan with a commitment to work with their community through service and stewardship. Dan said in his speech that ‘everyone is family.’ I love those words, something I strive to embrace myself. The couple received Pine Rest Foundation’s 2011 Honorees of the Jay Van Den Berg Award for Leadership. Quite the high honor, I must say.

Since it’s inception 50 years ago, the Pine Rest Foundation has distributed $11 million in gifts through an endowment to Pine Rest for charitable care and treatment, research, program innovations, education and facility improvement. The endowment is generated through annual membership gifts, proceeds from special events, bequests, and other outright or deferred gifts.

Pine Rest is one of the five largest free-standing behavioral health providers in the U.S., offering a full continuum of services including inpatient and partial hospitalization, residential and outpatient services, addiction treatment and recovery, extensive child and adolescent programs, senior care services, as well as specialized assessment and treatment clinics. In addition to the main campus in Grand Rapids, Pine Rest also has 16 outpatient locations throughout West Michigan and two in Iowa. Pine Rest achieved an historic milestone in June 2010 when the organization marked 100 years of service to the greater Grand Rapids and national community.

Great event! The Stellafly team was proud to be involved this year.

This week I launched the stellafly facebook page. Stellafly Social Media will serve as the umbrella over the new magazine and other endeavors that we’re investigating. It will also serve to create awareness around the organizations that we work with.

I came to the realization that once a page you admin gets into the higher numbers, you tend to categorize the entire audience into one lump – who’s following the brand. You can break it down into age, sex, city but it doesn’t show you who’s the most loyal or interested.

Starting a new facebook page shows you the most valuable information because you can take a peek at your earliest followers. These followers are your most engaged. They know what’s going on, they’re emotionally connected and have a relationship with you and/or the brand.

I’m grateful for them. If I had money, I’d send them all flowers.

Twitter has been a pretty painless transition. @stellafly was always good for an occasional snark or witty banter but as things grew busier, it served mostly as a mirror to the other brand’s message. What I’m finding is that Twitter users seem to be more apt to read blogs than facebook users do. I’m sure @maniactive knows a lot more on this subject than I do. Hope she writes about it someday.

This past week, the creative teamed has moved closer to naming the new online magazine. The vision is to continue creating awareness around Grand Rapids while taking on more outlying cities this fall. Count on a few photo documented trips to Detroit. More on that later.

Until we get the site up, we will continue posting the images of the things we’re doing on our facebook page and when the new site goes live, all of this coverage will also be found here.

Tomorrow, there will be a fun photo contest. Dig up your favorite Tim Motley, Terry Johnston or Mikey Cook photo of yourself and post it on the stellafly wall. The one with the most likes is going to get something really fun. Promise.

You heard it first. See you Monday.

I adapted the stellafly moniker back in the early 90s when AOL first emerged. I lived in Portland, Oregon at the time working as an Art Director. I knew very few people and chat rooms were all the rave. Stellafly was a name where I could be myself without revealing my identity. Funny how things circle back in weird ways.

Since adopting that name, I’ve worked as an independent graphic designer and an art director for a few different companies. I tried my hand at web design but never really had a knack for it and now I dabble in social media branding and marketing. Did I mention chat rooms?

Just when I felt like things were going well, life became a roller coaster.

Right now, I await a response from my attorney giving me the actual ‘script’ of what I can and can’t say to my audience but I feel a responsibility to give my friends, my followers and audience an explanation as to what happened to two and a half years of my life. My baby. My idea. My passion. My blood, sweat and tears.

The company as you know it is going through a divorce. Without getting into the he said/she said, my job as manager was replaced by majority vote by minority members that felt that things needed to be done differently than the way Tim Motley and I envisioned them going. As much as I tried to keep things afloat, negotiate and discuss, the other side wouldn’t communicate. It started by changing passwords on the website so things couldn’t get updated, freezing money and removing me from the company email so I couldn’t respond to our clients.

After hours of  conversations with my attorney, I could no longer bear the responsibility of telling clients that they were going to get what they paid for, so I made the decision to walk away from my day-to-day responsibilities and let those that wanted to manage, manage.

As of Monday at 4PM, I no longer worked for GRSD. Although I remain the 78% majority shareholder, the business still exists but I have no control over the content or operational day-to-day tasks that I have maintained since May 2009.

Over the past three weeks, I’ve had unbelievable support from my closest friends and prayers from those that ‘don’t know what’s going on, but care.’ I’ve lost 15 pounds. My lawyer has been amazing.  My children and husband have suffered. My friends… unbelievable.

It’s been a hard lesson that I can assure everyone I will never go through again.

That said, life must go on and ‘Stellafly’ has to fly, fly, fly.  I’ve been very blessed to have the amazing support of the community and social media network through this hard life change and I’m very excited about moving toward the future.

My rock and business partner, Tim Motley will move into the next phase. Chris Koens, Rich App, Mikey Cook, Terry Johnston, Marcel Thibert, Jamal Fisher, Alex Fluegal, GF Korreck and Brandon Gohsman are all on board for the next leg of this exciting adventure, which involves other cities, including Detroit. We, as a group, have had a similar vision for a bigger and broader direction. Something we’ve been talking about doing but have been waiting for the right time to do it.

I truly believe that nothing is coincidental and it’s true that things happen for a reason.

When one door shuts another one opens and my hope is that you will want to join me on our next journey. Come along with me, with us and join in the conversation. I”ll never be able to thank those that have continously stood behind my work and all that have supported our efforts in the past. I hope you will continue to do so.

I plan on updating this blog on a regular basis. I want to share this experience as it is going to be a true and transparent example of how rebranding works in the social media playground.

To follow what we’re doing: https://www.facebook.com/stellaflysocialmedia

On that note, Stellafly Social Media, LLC is a brand management company.

In 2010, Stellafly represented Google Fiber Grand Rapids, Sparkeology, Pete Hoekstra for Governor and the Grand Rapids Social Diary. In 2011, Rock the Rapids, Social Media Club Grand Rapids and Grand Rapids Social Diary.

Our creative team is in the process of creating ‘The New Agency’ which will have a broader reach than our work with GRSD. We are aggressively pursuing the creation of that website and look. In the meantime, the photographers are shooting for Stellafly Social Media, LLC and you can see those images daily, by visiting our facebook page.

It’s been awhile since I last blogged. I blame my lack of discipline, attention defict disorder and most of all, my inability to compile one main thought.

However, this morning I woke up with this song playing in my head. An old favorite by The Cure.

Don’t say what you mean

You might spoil your face

If you walk in the crowd

You won’t leave any trace

It’s always the same

You’re jumping someone else’s train

It won’t take you long to learn the new smile

You’ll have to adapt

Or you’ll be out of style

It’s always the same

You’re jumping someone else’s train

If you pick up on it quick

You can say you were there

Again and again and again

You’re jumping someone else’s train

It’s the latest wave

That you’ve been craving for

The old ideal was getting such a bore

Now you’re back in line

Going not quite quite as far

But in half the time

Everyone’s happy They’re finally all the same ’

cause everyone’s jumping Everyone else’s train

Jumping someone else’s train

Jumping someone else’s train

Jumping someone else’s train

This song has always resonated inside of me for many reasons. When I heard it for the first time back in 1985, I applied it to the people that I knew who only wanted to hang out with me because I hung out with what they considered the cool kids – and they wanted to go to the cool parties. This resulted in an early adulthood awareness that people instinctually use other people’s social prowess to create awareness around themselves.

Later in life, this awareness resurfaced again through my involvement with dogs. It was much more obvious, of course, because the nature of showing dogs only allows for very few to be winners. That leaves a whole lot of losers standing around looking for something to brag about. The losers bond with the winners because if they are hanging out with winners then they, by association, become winners too. The funny thing is those that have a winning year in dogs soon find themselves having a year where someone else’s dogs are winning. The losers always follow the winners leaving the new loser behind.

Fast forward to 2009. At the start up of the Diary, this behavior resurfaced again. The good news is that through my work with the Diary I’ve come into some real friendships. Friendships based on substance, similar goals, work ethic and teamwork. I can honestly say that nobody on our team displays opportunistic or egotistic behavior.

Although, we do see it. We come across other photographers shooting over our shoulders when we set up a shot. We see them come to events that we have been hired to promote and build up. Without any effort they walk in, shoot and post on their own site to grow their numbers.

As a small business owner I am protective of the hard work that my team provides. I find this unprofessional behavior increasingly annoying – to the point that we have had to collaborate with other photographers in order to build in an “exclusive” disclaimer in our event coverage asking those that hire us – hire only us.
Funny thing is, we love shooting with 99.9% of the photographers in Grand Rapids. Most are professional, respectful and understand what we are doing. They aren’t trying to copy our concept to better their own brand and we aren’t in it to steal their clients. They have successful brands. We support them. We even hire them on occasion. When we do bump into them, most often they’re shooting for a paying client or to add to their portfolio. Not for free drinks and tickets inside.

Last week we had a couple of really successful events. Events that were put together through collaborative efforts between retailers, venues, photographers, videographers, editors and writers. I came to the realization that the best idea people – the ones who have tons of good ideas – share them. I love sharing my ideas with other creatives and entreprenuers. My database of creatives does ebb and flow, but for a good creative entrepreneur, the ideas never stop coming and I will never stop sharing them.

Competitors Stealin’ Your Deal? Why You Shouldn’t Worry.

If you’re the kind of person that spends all of your time copying your competitor’s ideas you will lose what your brand stands for and what you’re all about. Your brand will simply become a copy of the brand you are harmful over time. The reason it isn’t a good idea is that you will not have the experience of creating original material and content. You find yourself in a rut only capable of copying, showing up, letting others set up your shots and not developing your own creative and critical thinking skills. In addition, if you copy your competitor, you are consciously or unconsciously admitting your competitor is the leader in what you do.

You will confuse your own customer base. They expect things out of your brand.

Competitors really shouldn’t copy ideas or campaigns. In doing so they actually help their competitor grow their business. Spending time copying others instead of creating creative content to grow your own business is a deadly mistake. If you have branded yourself as one thing and then start copying haphazardly, your audience gets confused as to what you are doing. Also, when you start to focus too much on your competitor’s growth rather than focusing on making yourself grow, you lose site of your mission.

People that steal ideas are often followers.

Not that there is anything wrong with being a follower. The world needs both kinds. However, followers can be a product of the passion and vision a leader has displayed to them. Sometimes they get passionate about the idea for a few days, but the passion fades, almost instantly, once they realize the difficulties and the work that lays ahead. Since an idea is just a snapshot, they often lose passion/energy once they find themselves scratching their head as to what lies beyond that picture. Cue the creativity.

Luck is a funny thing … or is it Karma?

Luck is a strange multiplier of success. It just happens (or doesn’t happen) to startup brands and the people behind them. It even might be as simple as the difference between very little money or a bunches. When it hits, boy is it sweet. You can’t steal luck or good karma. It’s like a ghost that you can only faintly see in the photograph. If someone tries to steal it, it would be like grabbing at the air.

Every night the Making a Difference segments  leaves me with … “Wow! What a great turnout for that family” or “I’m so glad that child is able to function on their own now”. Some stories feel familiar, some make me feel fortunate. Sometimes I am awestruck because they are so incredibly miraculous.

Tonight’s story was different. It introduced to me to a new and exciting concept that I could imagine fitting right into the hands of our community and executed  through the giving nature of our city. This story featured an organization known as the “Circle of Friends“. COF has been created specifically for establishing friendships. It helps create relationships that are purposefully built between teens and young adults with special needs and their non-disabled peers. The unions are held together by meaningful participation on the campuses as well as within the community.

You see, it’s important for young adults with special needs to acquire, practice and improve their social and conversational skills and problem solving techniques in real world scenarios. In doing so with non-disabled friends they are better able to build self-esteem and confidence which helps them to a brighter future.

Often teens and young adults with special needs feel isolated, ignored, invisible and even lonely.

The interaction between the two groups can have long-lasting effects on both. Having a friend with special needs helps increase the awareness that people are just people – each of us being unique in our own way. It can teach young people how to embrace and understand each other’s differences. To accept people as they are.

The mission of “Circle of Friends” is to establish an environment of inclusion for teens and young adults with developmental disabilities on middle, high school and college campuses as well as within their community, focusing on the understanding and acceptance of differences. They provide the opportunity for students to acquire, practice and improve social/conversation skills and problem solving strategies in a natural environment in order to increase self-esteem, thus leading to a more successful adult life. Other groups that help build connections between people but it is the ‘Circle of Friends’ organization that provides a systematic approach to facilitating these relationships. One that is worth checking out.

My two cents:
In a perfect world we would all find one person to befriend. A friend that is vastly different than who we are. One that might be lonely or socially awkward. One that looks different or has a disability. To invest time in a relationship challenged by differences would be a life lesson for all involved. Lessons of self-esteem and confidence – of awareness and acceptance.

And after a gray, rainy, cold spring day… a day where my friend is waiting on a call from a close friend’s family about his inevitable death. A day where a father worries about the constant pain his daughter is in due to her scoliosis. A day where a man is trying to decide whether or not to leave his wife for a new start and chance at happiness. A day where politicians sling mud at each other by saying hateful words. Today is a day that young adults come together to make the world a happier and kinder place to be. A better place for all of us.

I’ve stayed away from blogging mostly because everyone told me that WordPress was hard. Really? I hopped right on and here I am. Not that this could be a good thing. The fact that I am admitting to being a complete dork and nerd can not be a good strategic move right out of the gate.

Feel free to exit now.

A.D.D. distracted side-thought to engage my audience: Does it help if I say that sometimes I don’t wear underwear but almost always have pearls on?

Ok. So why am I starting this blog? Well, I’ve decided to take my graphic design and marketing experience on the road. I’m letting go of the edge of the pool. I know in my mind that I can swim but haven’t before. I’m floating away from my traditional training – from the conventional ways of doing things. I’m going where no man (that I know and call) has gone before.

I came into design and advertising at the very emergence of computers. My first job at an agency was to take Tom Kelly’s, my mentor, artwork “printable”… not an easy task because he truly believed that process color could be turned into spot pms effortlessly. It made me crazy. It made me think. It taught me about troubleshooting and strategy. Nothing was impossible. There was always a way.

It also contributed to countless after-hours saddled up to the bar at the Steelhead Brewery that lived downstairs to the agency. Contemplating color separation until drunk always worked and I still use this practice on too many occasions.

I’ll never forget Tom Kelly. I adore him still till this day for being so amazing at what he did. I’ve recently become aware that it was because of his drive to do things the “old school” way that I accessed the tools and knowledge that I now possess.

He also let me go to Portland.

Where did you get that name? Stellafly came to me in 1994 or 95 after I had moved to Portland from Eugene. There was no doubt that I was an under-qualified art director making a premature move from the sister advertising agency in Eugene. I had a fancy, top-floor office that I loved to show-off. It overlooked the gorgeous city and stared directly at Mt. Hood. The partner of the agency, “c”, wasn’t as into the mentoring concept as Tom was … in fact, I’m pretty sure he wanted me up there because Tom saw some potential talent. What I learned from working for “c” was that a place could suck the creativity out of you if you’re were’nt happy at your job.

I met the most incredible and witty copywriter during that time. He introduced me to China Town and dim sum. His wife became pregnant with twins. We both loathed working for “c” but loved being creative together. Things didn’t go well. He got fired and I went next day.

Maybe he’ll hire me back someday.

I had no idea at the time how incredibly amazing that was.

Since I had moved up from Eugene, I knew only a few people in the big city. Right about that same time America Online’s popularity emerged. Ah. The days when chat rooms and screen names were brand new.

My screen name was derived from my nickname, Stella, given to me by an old friend from the college days. Of course, Stella wasn’t available without a long line of extra digits attached so I went with “fly” as in “girl” to it.

I remember that night in my apartment on Johnson & 23rd. My future — my brand identity came to life. Who would have thought?

I have operated under the “stellafly” avatar ever since. I’ve had multiple renditions of the name. I was asked at one point if it was a “stage” name. I think the gentleman asking thought I might be an actress — or a stripper. I’ll never know.

Twenty-ten.

Stellafly has decided that she needs a separate voice outside of her recent brainchild and brand development, the Grand Rapids Social Diary. So she’s putting on her seat belt and taking the social media highway to destinations unknown.

No 9-5 job. No boss. Just distant strangers as mentors.

I get  to work in my sweatpants and wear unkept ponytails. I can shower if I feel like it — when I feel like it. I have the ability to sign on off to the world whenever I want to. I can work all the time now. I sleep with my blackberry.

If you decide to read please understand: I never have a bad day. I have no personal problems or baggage. I don’t need any advice. If I’m being a bitch it’s because I am either acting like a man in a man’s world or I’m annoyed about something. I promise I’ll get over it and I truly don’t mean to offend you if I speak my mind. I’m black and white. Somewhat complicated and distracted at times.

I really look like my avatar. Most of the time.

I am “stellafly”. Here for your entertainment (and engagement).

My goal with this mission is to combine a creative strategy that brings brand awareness and reputation management to individuals and their organizations. With my voice.

I’m also interested in learning, engaging and studying the newer generations that use social media to develop their personal brands by using applications like facebook, twitter and blogging.

Takes one to know one. (now I sound smart)

So, hello world! It’s time for me to give you a better idea of who I am. Beyond the Facebook and Twitter communities that I currently exist in, places where I are limited to brief snapshots of  my already transparent life, I am here now. No longer can I control, put up walls and limit who gets to hear my voice.

Consider yourself lucky, Sir blog. Blogging stays. Until I delete it … and that’s my blog for today. Hope you enjoyed your stay. Whomever you are.